You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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