he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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