My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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