she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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