so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
NoShamevember. You game?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
