I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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