Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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