Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
