it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
