i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he high fived his dick after we had sex
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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