meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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