We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Im part way to drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
