check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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