so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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