Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
