im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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