Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
