Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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