my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
