You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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