I want to make a zoo with you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
