His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
