I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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