I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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