He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
