We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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