none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
