bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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