Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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