I heard we made out
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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