Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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