White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
