Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i barfeds in our rink
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
