I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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