mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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