do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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