In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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