Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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