I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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