Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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