That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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