I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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