Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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