Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
