Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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