I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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