singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
