Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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