can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
