I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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