Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
