Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
