If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
