youre lurking in front of me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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