We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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