We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
