i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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