This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
