So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
