if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize